thegarageblog.co.uk : When technology leaves me cold – why can’t I just drive and not iDrive?

Once of the (very few) benefits of working in the motor trade is that I get to sample a wide variety of different cars, either owned by our customers, or ones I’m trading. In a typical day, I might drive 6 or 7 different cars, and often return home from the garage in a different car tat I arrived in. Fortunately, unlike some drivers, I have no trouble adapting from one car to another in a matter of minutes. Whilst some of our customers will sit on our forecourt for up to 15 minutes whilst they familiarise themselves with the basic controls of our Toyota Aygo courtesy car, I’ll normally just jump straight into anything and be on my way in less than a minute. I normally instinctively know where reverse gear is located and as long as I can find the seat adjuster, one car is petty much like another. Once underway, I can usually manage to turn on the heated rear window and sometimes even the radio can be coaxed into finding BBC London ( I like a bit of Vanessa Feltz in the mornings) to ease the boredom of my short drive. Lately though, I’ve driven a few cars that have taken almost the entire journey just to learn how to change radio station or simply adjust the heater! As we all know, different manufacturers like to do things differently. For example, I’m currently writing this post using a beautiful (and crash-free) Apple iMac, yet I normally use a Windows PC. As a result, I keep trying to ‘right click’ the mouse, which as it only has one giant button, doesn’t work! I have to consciously remember to press the CTRL button on the keyboard whilst pressing the mouse body down. After a while, it comes naturally again, until the next time I use my PC, where I find myself trying to press the entire mouse down instead of pressing the button. This isn’t a problem as I’m sitting at my desk and aren’t driving down the A331 at 70 MPH at the time.

So, what cars have been causing me ‘issues’ with their technology lately. Well, here’s the few I remember most recently:

Mercedes S350 2006 model – so many similar looking chrome buttons, as well as ‘keyless go’, rear TV camera, parking assistance and (wait for it!) a gear selector that was like a tiny indicator stalk but on the right hand side of the column! I actually sat looking for a gear lever, flappy paddleshifts or even a pop-up button to avoid me sitting outside the workshop in neutral, just revving the engine.
Audi A8 2004 – a most bewildering MMI (Multimedia Interface) controller knob thingy – more menus than Wimpy and infuriating animated graphic display on the screen whenever you change something. Gave-up on tuning the radio as it kept returning me to the screen that selects what suspension firmness settings I wanted! Couldn’t really enjoy the stonking 4.0 V8 TurboDiesel as busy trying to get radio stations to change.
BMW 535D 2006 – The ‘I Drive’ controller knob seemed to be staring at me, willing me to ‘do battle’ and try and change something. Without having much time (and it was dark), I didn’t dare try any of the ‘Climate ‘, ‘Audio’ Navigation’ or ‘Communication’ settings, for fear of messing something up. A big aluminium knob with a few buttons around it serves to adjust many of the ‘less used’ functions and is supposed to make things easier. Heres a little bit of a description (courtesy of Wikipedia) to see if it makes any sense to you:

The design rationale of iDrive is to replace a confusing array of controls for the above systems with an all-in-one unit. The controls necessary for vehicle control and safety, such as the headlights and indicators, are still located in the immediate vicinity of the steering column. Since the climate, audio, navigation and communication systems are adjusted only occasionally, the idea was to move them into an easy-to-use central location.

The iDrive systems are based around the points of a compass (north, south, east, west) with each direction corresponding with a specific area. These areas are also colour coded providing identification as to which part of the system is currently being viewed.

North (blue) for communication
East (green) for navigation (In some models without navigation, this option is replaced by the On Board Computer)
South (yellow) for entertainment
West (red) for climate control

Also, at the iDrive home screen, the control knob can be pushed downwards to provide access to the car’s control panel (iMenu), which gives access to a variety of operational parameters:

date/time settings
System language localization (generally, English (US/UK) and native language of the vehicle’s location is provided.)
Bluetooth settings
Flat tyre sensor settings,
lighting behavior, etc.
custom steering wheel buttons
Power Output (BMW Mseries), for example, 400 hp, 500 hp).

BMW 745 iDrive controller

See, you’re none the wiser now! Experts reckon it takes at least an hour for a driver to familiarise themselves with the system and like many things, it was much-critised when it was launched. Back in 2002 when the (then) new 7 series was launched with iDrive, I never gave it a thought that I’d ever be driving such a car. With early 745i’s now going through the auctions for £5000, this wonderful technology is now available to anyone that doesn’t fancy a secondhand Mondeo or Vectra to cruise around in. After all, when petrol is so expensive, what more economical way can there be to enjoy your new car than to sit in the driveway pushing a shiny knob from north to south, east and west in order to demist the windscreen or play a CD! We all know it’s illegal to talk on a handheld telephone on the move, and texting at the wheel is an accident waiting to happen. How long before the frustrated driver of a BMW 7 series ploughs into a bus queue as he struggles to select some warm air to his face and check his Satnav display whilst selecting a different track on his Kaiser Chiefs CD?

I wonder how long it’ll be before cars revert back to the good old days of having a hard-wired button or switch to control every function? The truth is that it’ll probably never happen. As technology becomes cheaper, even the most humble hatchback already has more electronics that NASA used to get the first Space Shuttle into orbit. Ford’s Ka and Fiesta have voice activation of audio and climate control, with full Bluetooth connectivity available on all models. Whilst many buyers used to find electric windows a luxury, they now demand full iPod control and MP3 compatability of the in-car audio systems before they’d even consider signing on the dotted line.

Plenty of chrome knobs, but not an iDrive in sight.

Sometimes, I wish the golden era of the 1950’s (admittedly, before my time!) would make a welcome return to our cars. With all the cutesy ‘retro’ models on offer from Fiat, Mini and now Citroen with ther DS3, why can’t their dashboards have a lovely array of chrome knobs, buttons and switches to turn everything on and off. Perhaps if that’s a bit too much to expect, just one big metal knob would do. Oops, wait a minute – that sounds suspiciously like an iDrive controller! Oh well, back to the drawing board……